Uday aur Bhairavi ki Shaadi

Bhavna's family is from Vadodara, Gujarat, India. These images are from her baby brother's Grah Shanti, Pithi, and Shaadi.

Hindu weddings are my favourite type of wedding. They are colourful and noisy affairs involving the entire family. A marriage in India (or Pakistan) is considered as a union between the two families and not just the couple. It includes many rituals which span over several days, although in Western countries this may be spread out over several weeks. In comparison, I think Western weddings are boring and stuffy affairs that can seem narcissistic (hello bridezilla) and lacking in colour. In any case, in Hinduism, it is considered inauspicious to wear black or white during marriage rituals.

Performed a day or two before the wedding ceremony, the Grah Shanti is a pre-wedding ritual where a religious ceremony, a pooja, is performed to invite Lord Ganesha into the home to remove all obstacles and bring happiness and prosperity to the couple. The groom's family performs the groom's Grah Shanti while the bride's family performs her Grah Shanti. These events are performed separately. The groom's family do not attend the bride's Grah Shanti and vice versa. It is done this way to get rid of individual negative energy or doshas that either of them may possess.

Uday's Grah Shanti was held at his paternal Uncle's (Jayesh Raval) home in Delran.

In Hinduism, it is considered very important that all the gods and goddesses attend the marriage ceremony to bless the groom. The ancestors and the forefathers of the bride and groom, living or not, are also invited. A learned priest, sometimes called Maharaj, performed the pooja. As Lord Ganesha is considered to be the remover of all the obstacles, he is invoked during this ceremony. The venue was adorned with icons, flowers, and other elaborate decorations. Close friends and family were invited to bless the groom.

I'm not sure, but I believe The Navagrah (9 planets) pooja was also done to worship the nine planets of the Vedic/Hindu Astrology. As it is believed that the stars and the planets have a significant influence on Hindu lives, this pooja is performed to ensure that the Navagrah or nine planets are aligned for both the bride and the groom to live a happy life together. As the name suggests, Grah means the house and Shanti means peace. Thus Grah Shanti means the peach of the house.

The groom, my brother-in-law Uday Raval | Thursday 24 November, 2011 | Nikon D40 | AF-S Nikkor 50 mm f/1.8
Thursday 24 November, 2011 | Nikon D40 | AF-S Nikkor 50 mm f/1.8
Thursday 24 November, 2011 | Nikon D40 | AF-S Nikkor 50 mm f/1.8
My sister-in-law Nilima and her husband, Mukesh | Thursday 24 November, 2011 | Nikon D40 | AF-S Nikkor 50 mm f/1.8
We're all staring at what Nilima is wearing on her head. | Thursday 24 November, 2011 | Nikon D40 | AF-S Nikkor 50 mm f/1.8
Thursday 24 November, 2011 | Nikon D40 | AF-S Nikkor 50 mm f/1.8
Groom's parents, my in-laws Nirupama and Jagdish Raval | Thursday 24 November, 2011 | Nikon D40 | AF-S Nikkor 35 mm f/1.8
Thursday 24 November, 2011 | Nikon D40 | AF-S Nikkor 35 mm f/1.8
Delran | Thursday 24 November, 2011 | Nikon D40 | AF-S Nikkor 35 mm f/1.8
Thursday 24 November, 2011 | Nikon D40 | AF-S Nikkor 35 mm f/1.8

After the pooja, was the Pithi ceremony which for practicality was performed the same day as the Grah Shanti. The Pithi ceremony is traditionally performed the day before the wedding. It involves rubbing a paste made of chickpea flour, turmeric, or rose water on the groom. The family takes turns in putting some of it on. Once it’s applied correctly, the groom may be bathed in rose water.

Nandini's get in her uncles face. | Thursday 24 November, 2011 | Nikon D40 | AF-S Nikkor 18-55 mm f/3.5-5.6
Thursday 24 November, 2011 | Nikon D40 | AF-S Nikkor 18-55 mm f/3.5-5.6

The Mehndi which is made using Henna, is a temporary tattoo that the bride, family, and friends put on their hands and some on their feet on special occasions but particularly at weddings. Kiran and Shaan both got this done.

Kiran's mehndi | Thursday 24 November, 2011 | Nikon D40 | AF-S Nikkor 18-55 mm f/3.5-5.6
ladu | Thursday 24 November, 2011 | Nikon D40 | AF-S Nikkor 18-55 mm f/3.5-5.6

The second set of images are from the day of the Shaadi (wedding) itself. We all got dressed and spent some time in the hotel lobby taking family portraits of each other.

Khürt, Shaan, Kiran, Bhavna | Saturday 26 November, 2011 | Nikon D40 | AF-S Nikkor 50 mm f/1.8
Nilima, Falguni, Bhavna and my mother-in-law, Nirupama | Saturday 26 November, 2011 | Nikon D40 | AF-S Nikkor 50 mm f/1.8
Nilima, Falguni, Bhavna and my in-laws, Nirupama and Jagdish | Saturday 26 November, 2011 | Nikon D40 | AF-S Nikkor 50 mm f/1.8
Joined by my nieces Nandini and Maya, and nephews Rohan and Rahul | Saturday 26 November, 2011 | Nikon D40 | AF-S Nikkor 35 mm f/1.8
We're all family - Sagar Raval, Dipan Patel (my wife's brother-in-law), Rahul, Jagdish Raval, Shaan, Me, Divyesh "Chaku" Raval, and Rohan | Saturday 26 November, 2011 | Nikon D40 | AF-S Nikkor 35 mm f/1.8

In the traditional Gujarati Shaadi, the groom goes to the bride’s house on a horse, while his relatives walk and dance along, often accompanied by a musical band. The groom’s family forms a procession to carry the groom to his bride for the formal wedding ceremony. The parade would include the use of the dhol, a type of drum, to loudly mark the arrival of the groom. Upon arrival at the bride's home, the groom's party consisting of immediate family, extended family, close family friends, etc. would call to the bride's family announcing that the groom has arrived to claim his bride. In modern times, the groom's party is typically accompanied by a DJ as well as the traditional dhol player. As is tradition, the brides remain out of sight.

Nilima talking to the horse? | Saturday 26 November, 2011 | Nikon D40 | AF-S Nikkor 50 mm f/1.8
Uday arrives on a white horse | Saturday 26 November, 2011 | Nikon D40 | AF-S Nikkor 50 mm f/1.8

Once the groom reaches the bride's house, he is welcomed by the bride’s mother with an aarti - the waving of a lighted lamp before the person to be honoured. In performing the rite, the bride's mother rotates the light three times in a clockwise direction while chanting a prayer or singing a hymn. After this, the wedding then takes place according to the Hindu traditions and customs of Gujurat.

Saturday 26 November, 2011 | Nikon D40 | AF-S Nikkor 50 mm f/1.8
Traditionally the bride and groom don't meet until the wedding day | Saturday 26 November, 2011 | Nikon D40 | AF-S Nikkor 50 mm f/1.8
Saturday 26 November, 2011 | Nikon D40 | AF-S Nikkor 50 mm f/1.8
The bride, Bhairavi "Toral" Desai, arrives | Saturday 26 November, 2011 | Nikon D40 | AF-S Nikkor 50 mm f/1.8
Maya is bored | Saturday 26 November, 2011 | Nikon D40 | AF-S Nikkor 50 mm f/1.8
Saturday 26 November, 2011 | Nikon D40 | AF-S Nikkor 50 mm f/1.8
Kiran and Maya | Saturday 26 November, 2011 | Nikon D40 | AF-S Nikkor 50 mm f/1.8
"Toral" and Uday | Saturday 26 November, 2011 | Nikon D40 | AF-S Nikkor 50 mm f/1.8
"Toral" and Uday | Saturday 26 November, 2011 | Nikon D40 | AF-S Nikkor 50 mm f/1.8
You must feed each other, says the mahraj | Saturday 26 November, 2011 | Nikon D40 | AF-S Nikkor 50 mm f/1.8
Toral's mom says something funny | Saturday 26 November, 2011 | Nikon D40 | AF-S Nikkor 50 mm f/1.8
"Toral" and Uday | Saturday 26 November, 2011 | Nikon D40 | AF-S Nikkor 50 mm f/1.8
Saturday 26 November, 2011 | Nikon D40 | AF-S Nikkor 50 mm f/1.8
Saturday 26 November, 2011 | Nikon D40 | AF-S Nikkor 50 mm f/1.8
Jayesh Raval, Sameer Raval, Uday, Toral, Neha Raval, Jaimani Raval | Saturday 26 November, 2011 | Nikon D40 | AF-S Nikkor 50 mm f/1.8

After the ceremony, we danced away at the reception. That's when I put the camera away.

Google+ Photographers Group Asbury Park Photo Walk

Today I met up on the Asbury Park Boardwalk with a group of photogs from the Google+ Photographers Group. Some were work friends, and the rest were strangers. The walk was organised by Scott Wyden Kivowitz - who until today I've only "known" online, and Daryl Meek. My friend and I drove down together. We got lost and ended up in Rumson, but we enjoyed the scenic route - lined with expensive shore homes - to Asbury Avenue.

Sunday 13 November 2011 | Nikon D40 | AF-S DX Nikkor 35 mm f/1.8

The windy air was crisp but cool. We caught up with the larger group about a quarter of the way down the boardwalk.

Scott Kivowitz, Asbury Park, New Jersey
Scott Kivowitz (Center) | Sunday 13 November, 2011 | Nikon D40 | AF-S DX Nikkor 35 mm f/1.8 | 1320 sec at f/8.0 | ISO 200
man on trike
Sunday 13 November, 2011 | Nikon D40 | AF-S DX Nikkor 35 mm f/1.8 | 1500 sec at f/8.0 | ISO 200
woman on trike
Trike | Sunday 13 November, 2011 | Nikon D40 | AF-S DX Nikkor 35 mm f/1.8 | 1800 sec at f/5.6 | ISO 200

I saw this older woman sitting with her aide as we walked along. I was reluctant at first, but my desire to get the shot overcame my anxiety. I walked over, introduced myself and asked her permission to take her photograph. She had an exciting story to tell. She was born in Jersey City but moved to Asbury Park with her family when she was two years old. She's now 94 years old. She's been to this very boardwalk almost her entire life. Imagine the stories she could tell about what the boardwalk was like long ago and how much it has changed. I regret I forgot her name.

elderly woman on bench
This woman has lived in Asbury Park her whole life. | Sunday 13 November, 2011 | Nikon D40 | AF-S DX Nikkor 35 mm f/1.8 | 1500 sec at f/8.0
Sunday 13 November, 2011 | Nikon D40 | AF-S DX Nikkor 35 mm f/1.8 | 1250 sec at f/8.0

The Wonder Bar is a local nightclub with a storied musical history, associated with such famous local legends as Bruce Springsteen, Bon Jovi, Clarence Clemmons, Lance Larson and many others.

Wonder Bar
Wonder Bar, Asbury Park, New Jersey | Sunday 13 November, 2011 | Nikon D40 | AF-S DX Nikkor 35 mm f/1.8 | 1160 sec at f/11
records
Sunday 13 November, 2011 | Nikon D40 | AF-S DX Nikkor 35 mm f/1.8 | 1160 sec at f/2.5 | ISO 800

My friend Chris, Prasanna and I had a great time chatting out our photography wish list. We added a fourth person, [John Carig](John Craig), to our smaller group. We talked about our families - we all have kids are varying age groups - before heading into the mall for a bite.

Convention Center, Asbuary Park Boardwalk, Asbury Park, New Jersey
Convention Center, Asbuary Park Boardwalk, Asbury Park, New Jersey | Sunday 13 November, 2011 | Nikon D40 | AF-S DX Nikkor 35 mm f/1.8 | 1200 sec at f/11

The iPhone Camera+ (with a Clarity filter applied) can produce some very good images. The key is good light. We had a cloudy early morning sky, but the sun shone through.

Asbuary Park Boardwalk | Sunday 13 November, 2011 | Apple iPhone 4 | 3.85 mm | 1/1400 sec at f/2.8 | ISO 80

Asbury Park Mural | Sunday 13 November, 2011 | Nikon D40 | AF-S DX Nikkor 35 mm f/1.8 | 160 sec at f/11

The Casino once contained an Ice Skating Rink, hosted Roller Derby and Flea Markets and was used as the setting for the movie "City by the Sea" starring Robert DeNiro.

Inside the old casino. Asbuary Park Boardwalk, Asbury Park, New Jersey | Sunday 13 November, 2011 | Nikon D40 | AF-S DX Nikkor 35 mm f/1.8 | 150 sec at f/3.5
Asbury Park Casino
Asbury Park Casino | Sunday 13 November, 2011 | Nikon D40 | AF-S DX Nikkor 35 mm f/1.8 | 1250 sec at f/6.3

Before we left, we stopped at Sully's for a hot latte. They have an extensive menu, and many items are named after local landmarks. I liked the "The Boss" sandwich description, but our hostess let me know that he eats primarily vegetarian these days.

Sully's | Sunday 13 November 2011 | Nikon D40 | AF-S DX Nikkor 35 mm f/1.8

Barnegat Light: A Day and a Night

Bhavna and I have lived in New Jersey for many years. Bhavna moved to New Jersey with her family in 1974 when she was six. I moved to New Jersey in 1994. I've never liked the Jersey Shore. New Jersey beaches do not have the fine sand and turquoise blue waters like the ones on the islands like Antigua and Bequia where I grew up. The brown polluted waters of the Jersey shore are no comparison to the turquoise blue waters of the Caribbean Sea. That's my reference point.

But the Jersey shore is what we have, so I must make the best of it. But I'm not too fond of noise and sleazy Las Vegas-style beaches. When I go to the beach, I want to relax. I don't think anything is relaxing about arcade machines and beach blankets and umbrellas stacked so close to each other that I can smell the sweat dripping off the other beach visitors. Yuck!!!

Barnegat Light Beach | Nikon D40 | AF-S DX Nikkor 50mm f/1.8 @ f/8.0

Thank goodness for Long Beach Island (LBI). We booked a bread and breakfast in Barnegat Light for one night — I would have booked more nights if I had known how beautiful the place was — and spent a day on an empty beach. No fracking boardwalk — again, if I wanted Vegas, I would go to Nevada, and I don't wish to go to Vegas.

Barnegat Light | Nikon D40 | AF-S DX Nikkor 50mm f/1.8 @ f/7.1

Gulls

I've always loved photos of birds in flight, and the seagulls did not disappoint. The real challenge here was the changing nature of the light as the gulls flew across the sky from east to west. I'm not sure how I pulled this off. I put the camera in aperture priority mode, letting the camera choose the exposure speed.

Barnegat Light | Nikon D40 | AF-S DX Nikkor 50mm f/1.8 @ f/9.0

I took a lot of photos of the gulls. With its head tilted to one side, this one bird seems to have a curious expression on its face. Almost like he's thinking, "What's this daft bloke up to?".

Barnegat Light | Nikon D40 | AF-S DX Nikkor 50mm f/1.8 @ f/8.0

Splish splash

Kiran and Shaan love the beach. The water was a bit cold and rough that afternoon — we did not know it then, but an earthquake had just rocked the eastern seaboard — so the kids had fun splashing around in the surf and chasing each other.

Shaan | Nikon D40 | AF-S DX Nikkor 50mm f/1.8 @ f/16

I don't have any photos of the sand castle, but they did build one, dragging buckets of wet sand up from the surf.

Barnegat Light | Nikon D40 | AF-S DX Nikkor 50mm f/1.8 @ f/9.0

We ate on the beach but had to watch out carefully for the seagulls. One of these figured out how to open our back of goldfish and before we knew it had eaten most of the bag.

Barnegat Light | Nikon D40 | AF-S DX Nikkor 50mm f/1.8 @ f/9.0

Shaan's not a fan of swimming. Ever since he was a toddler, he preferred playing in the sand. I can't say I blame him. The water was cold and brown.

Barnegat Light | Nikon D40 | AF-S DX Nikkor 50mm f/1.8 @ f/11

Kiran's favourite thing about the beach is the water. She's like a fish out of water when on the sand—flipping and flopping around. I like to think that her love of the water comes from my and Shaan's love of the sand.

Barnegat Light | Nikon D40 | AF-S DX Nikkor 50mm f/1.8 @ f/7.1

Bhavna was happy. Most likely because none of us — myself, Shaan and Kiran — were face down on a computer. No iPhones or iPods either. I think that's bliss for her. Or ... she could just be enjoying spending quiet time with her family.

Barnegat Light | Nikon D40 | AF-S DX Nikkor 50mm f/1.8 @ f/8.0

Evening

We retired to our bread and breakfast — Minerva's by the Sea is near the top end of Barnegat Light — to shower and change for dinner. A friend and coworker recommended a seafood place in Viking Village with outdoor picnic-style seating. It's fast-food seafood, but we enjoyed it.

After dinner, we went up to visit the Barnegat Lighthouse. The lighthouse has a long and storied history. There is a visitor walking path along the rocky bayside of LBI near the lighthouse. Old Barney is no longer an active lighthouse and has become a tourist attraction.

Barnegat Lighthouse | Nikon D40 | AF-S DX Nikkor 50mm f/1.8 @ f/6.3

We stuck around to watch the sunset over the bay. The light casts a glow that makes the skin a golden colour. Bhavna and the kids posed for me since I insisted that the light was perfect.

Shaan and Bhavna | Nikon D40 | AF-S DX Nikkor 50mm f/1.8 @ f/5.6

Bhavna and Shaan enjoyed the attention of my camera.

Barnegat Light | Nikon D40 | AF-S DX Nikkor 50mm f/1.8 @ f/6.3

Kiran's growing up too fast. She starts the fifth grade this year, but my baby girl will be a baby no more in a few years. Sometimes that makes me sad.

Bhavna and Kiran. | Nikon D40 | AF-S DX Nikkor 50mm f/1.8 @ f/3.2

Bhavna and the kids started goofing off, and I got some great candid shots.

Bhavna, Shaan and Kiran enjoying the evening light. | Nikon D40 | AF-S DX Nikkor 50mm f/1.8 @ f/2.8

The sunset was breathtaking.

Nikon D40 | AF-S DX Nikkor 50mm f/1.8 @ f/13

After a long day at the beach, the kids were tired and did not want to stick around to see the lighthouse at night, so we retired to our room. We got a chance to meet some of the other families staying in the house. There was a couple from Hillsborough — just over the border from our township — with two girls, one of whom was Kiran's age and another couple from Ocean County with a toddler. Our room had a lock, friendly families were boarding next door, and there were a restaurant and bar,Kubel's, across the street. So I walked over to Kubel and had a beer or two.

Barnegat Lighthouse
Barnegat Lighthouse * 23 August 2011 * Nikon D40 * AF-S NIKKOR 50mm f/1.8G

On the way back from Kubel, I noticed the lighthouse glowing up the street and could not resist. I used my tripod and got a few long exposure shots of the lighthouse.

Next Day

Shaan enjoying the warmth of the late summer sun. | Nikon D40 | AF-S DX Nikkor 50mm f/1.8 @ f/6.3

Shaan and I are early risers. Minerva offered breakfast at 8:30 AM, and we were up at 6:30 AM. On our exploration of Viking Village the day before we had found a coffee takeout place called How You Brewin' — part of a hyper-local chain of coffee places. I bought a coffee mug as part of a promotion. For the cost of the mug, I was offered the opportunity to get $100 refills for the rest of my life. Perhaps they meant the life of the mug, but Shaan and I decided to try it. We were a bit early still, so we waited our time chatting.

The Seawife Antiques
The Seawife Antiques * 24 August 2011 * Nikon D40 * AF-S NIKKOR 50mm f/1.8G
The Barn at Seawife Antiques
The Barn at Seawife Antiques * 24 August 2011 * Nikon D40 * AF-S NIKKOR 50mm f/1.8G

The sunrise lighting was just magical. I regret not having the writing skills to describe what I saw fully. I've since decided that I love summer light at sunrise and sunset and prefer to take photos at those times of the day. Perhaps that's true, and maybe I'm just using that as an excuse for not making any photos for my 365 projects in over five days. Yikes!

Barnegat Light | Nikon D40 | AF-S DX Nikkor 50mm f/1.8 @ f/6.3

Shaan and I noticed some small gnat-like bugs intended to bite us, so he jumped back into the car. I used the opportunity to explore more of Viking Village. To the right of the coffee shop is this island furniture store with colourful chairs and other items that one might see on a Caribbean island beach. I wanted to sit and enjoy the rising sun's warmth on my skin.

Nikon D40 +AF-S DX Nikkor 50mm f/1.8 @ f/6.3

I looked to get some photos of the gulls sitting on dock posts waiting for a fisher-person to make a mistake, but ... it was not to be.

Gull waiting for the fishermen to arrive
Gull waiting for the fishermen to arrive * 24 August 2011 * Nikon D40 * AF-S NIKKOR 50mm f/1.8G

On the other side of the coffee shop is an antique store called The Seawife. The main building is a renovated schoolhouse (at one point a barn ) that has been relocated from Harvey Cedars, a lighthouse on the island. Next to it is an ornamental outhouse.

Climbing the lighthouse

Barnegat Light | Nikon D40 | AF-S DX Nikkor 50mm f/1.8 @ f/6.3

After checking out of Minerva's, we went back to Old Barney. We did not have time on the previous day to climb the lighthouse before it closed. I'm not sure how many steps we climbed, but we were pretty winded when we got to the lookout deck. Shaan and I are both "apprehensive" about heights, but I overcame mine and ventured out to take the photos. Shaan did not.

Barnegat Light | Nikon D40 | AF-S DX Nikkor 50mm f/1.8 @ f/11

I used some graduated filters in Adobe Photoshop Lightroom to create a tilt-shift effect.

Bhavna, the kids and I agreed that we all had a good time, and next year we want to rent a home on the beach for a week. I can't wait.