“If you didn’t want to do it then why did you”, I ask.
“Well … I had to. Who else would do it?”, she says.
“I don’t know. Did you ask someone for help?”
“Who would I ask?” she would reply, rhetorically. “I had no choice”.
“You could have just not done it. You could have asked me?”
“You’re busy and I had to get done”.
“Because, someone had to do it!”
And so we go around and around in circles. The more I press, the more each of us gets agitated. I’m learning when to quit pushing. Sometimes, I start suggesting possibilities and sometimes she uses them and other times she doesn’t like any of the my solutions. At some point I may say:
“You’re right. If you don’t like doing nothing or choosing any of the other options, then … you have only the choice you made. But still … that’s a choice”
I sometimes do this to myself. I get stuck and frustrated because I feel like I have no choice but the one before me. It takes a bit of effort to realize that I have many choices, all of which have wanted and unwanted consequences. I may choose the most desirable outcome and least negative consequence and feel like I have no choice. Or I can accept the risk of a negative result, choose, and take the opportunity for a chance of the most desirable outcome I am seeking. Either way, I have made a choice.
NOTE: I’m writing this as part of The Domino Project’s #Trust30 30-day writing challenge from ralphwaldoemerson.me.