Should?

Woman on Park Bench

[email protected] +46 Xerox Sverige AB Canon EOS-1D X (24mm, f/8, 1/200 sec, ISO100)

Should! Should? I have an intense dislike of the word. Something inside me gets angry every time it’s used against me.

  • “I should exercise more”.
  • “I should spend more time with [name of family member]”.
  • “I should go to bed earlier”.

To me the word has a feeling of judgement. It feels like, “You are a bad person. You won’t do this good thing”. It feels like, “What’s wrong with you”.

“Shoulds” feel like a bit of a guilt trip, and when we feel our guilt buttons being pushed, we get resentful, willful, or discouraged.Dr. Noa Kageyama

  • “You should drive two hours on your only day off this week to visit [name of family member]”.
  • “You should drop everything you have planned for the week because [name of family member] planned an impromptu trip to the area”.
  • “You should adjust your life to meet other people’s expectations”.

But is the guilt real? Am I really a bad person because I won’t do something that someone else — it’s mostly always someone close to you — thinks should be done? How can I take control of the situation, get back to a positive place of being, and get the other voice to STFU?

Replace your shoulds with a word or phrase that is more future-solution-focused. Personally, I like the phrase: “Next time, I will…”Dr. Noa Kageyama

  • Today I will go outside for a 15 minutes walk with my [name of family member].
  • Tonight I will go to bed at 10PM.
  • I will honour my needs and wants.
  • I will tell people to stop shoulding all over me.

Rock Brook iPhone Long Exposure

Rock Brook, Skillman, River, Trees, Summer

Khürt L. Williams Creative Commons Attrubution Non-Commercial Sharealike Apple iPhone (4.15mm, f/2.2, 135.17 sec, ISO40)

I took the day off to relax a bit. My son Shaan came home early from school — he has a study break for exams this week — so I took him our for lunch at the One53 restaurant in Rocky Hill. We talked about college, school, and world history. I then persuaded him to come with me to the Rock Brook in Skillman. I wanted to test out an iPhone app I recently discovered called Slow Shutter Cam. It’s for creating long exposure images.

The app creates these images by combining multiple exposures using a clever image algorithm. I then made some quick adjustments in Photogene for iOS. The photo above was edited solely on my iPhone 6.

Rock Brook, Skillman, River, Trees, Summer

The image above was tweaked in Adobe Photoshop Lightroom.