A personal website by Khürt Williams, with imagery, and inchoate ramblings on coffee, beer, and geekery.
If there is one thing that twenty years with diabetes have taught me, it’s that control is mostly an illusion. Sure, I can manage my blood sugar — count carbs, test basal rates, correct for highs and feed the lows — but I’m never completely in control.
I’m a person with Type 1 diabetes and a person with a Type A controlling personality. It’s what led me to a career in computer and network security. I was this way before diabetes and I think that is what has helped me do a good job of managing my diabetes. While I agree with Jacquie that I can’t control the outcomes — A1C, BG — of my diabetes management regimen I do control what I can (insert serenity prayer here). Over time I’ve learned to let go of some of my obsession with the attachment to the results.
I think saying that control is an illusion can be used as an excuse to do nothing or be a “diabetes slacker”. It can be used as an excuse to eat badly and simply say, “It doesn’t matter anyway”. It can be used as an excuse to stop trying.
I control what I eat. I control how much insulin to take and when. I control how much exercise I get. I control my attitude. Those are the things I control and they do have an impact on my diabetes. Do I control the outcomes? Do I control what my BG will be? No. But I do control what I can do about it.
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