Type D Personality

Interesting guest post by Jacquie Paul Wojcik over on the Six Until Me blog.  Jacquie writes about becoming a control freak due to having to managing a chronic disease and the illusion of control.

If there is one thing that twenty years with diabetes have taught me, it’s that control is mostly an illusion. Sure, I can manage my blood sugar — count carbs, test basal rates, correct for highs and feed the lows — but I’m never completely in control.

I’m a person with Type 1 diabetes and a  person with a Type A controlling personality.  It’s what led me to a career in computer and network security.  I was this way before diabetes and I think that is what has helped me do a good job of managing my diabetes.  While I agree with Jacquie that I can’t control the outcomes  — A1C, BG — of my diabetes management regimen I do control what I can (insert serenity prayer here).  Over time I’ve learned to let go of some of my obsession with the attachment to the results.

I think saying that control is an illusion can be used as an excuse to do nothing or be a “diabetes slacker”.  It can be used as an excuse to eat badly and simply say, “It doesn’t matter anyway”.  It can be used as an excuse to stop trying.

I control what I eat. I control how much insulin to take and when.  I control how much exercise I get. I control my attitude.  Those are the things I control and they do have an impact on my diabetes.  Do I control the outcomes?  Do I control what my BG will be?  No.  But I do control what I can do about it.

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