Interesting guest post by Jacquie Paul Wojcik over on the Six Until Me blog. Jacquie writes about becoming a control freak due to having to managing a chronic disease and the illusion of control.
If there is one thing that twenty years with diabetes have taught me, it’s that control is mostly an illusion. Sure, I can manage my blood sugar — count carbs, test basal rates, correct for highs and feed the lows — but I’m never completely in control.
I’m a person with Type 1 diabetes and a person with a Type A controlling personality. It’s what led me to a career in computer and network security. I was this way before diabetes and I think that is what has helped me do a good job of managing my diabetes. While I agree with Jacquie that I can’t control the outcomes — A1C, BG — of my diabetes management regimen I do control what I can (insert serenity prayer here). Over time I’ve learned to let go of some of my obsession with the attachment to the results.
I think saying that control is an illusion can be used as an excuse to do nothing or be a “diabetes slacker”. It can be used as an excuse to eat badly and simply say, “It doesn’t matter anyway”. It can be used as an excuse to stop trying.
I control what I eat. I control how much insulin to take and when. I control how much exercise I get. I control my attitude. Those are the things I control and they do have an impact on my diabetes. Do I control the outcomes? Do I control what my BG will be? No. But I do control what I can do about it.