Try Things. Fuck Up. Fail, and Move On., Perspective NIKON D5100 20150506 6297

It was my hope that I could build a successful career with a nice tidy salary from making apps or writing and selling music. The motivation was always a financial one. As such, each time I tried, I failed, because my heart wasn’t really in it – I wanted an immediate financial return with the least amount of effort on my part. This sounds like a bad trait, but in hindsight I think it a great one! See, it made me realise that money is a piss-poor motivator to me. I honestly don’t care about it, once I have enough to get by. Sure it’s nice to have new gadgets or to splash out once in a while on something, but, that’s just nowhere near a big enough reason for me to be motivated, consistently.Jerry Lane

Ditto! Money has never motivated me. It has always been about learning and doing. Over the last few years, the pressure to succeed and provide for a family has made me focus more on the financial rewards. But I’ve started to realize that I am not happy about my work. I no longer look forward to the next day’s challenge. Now, I can’t wait for the weekend.

I realized that as a security professional, what I enjoyed the most was learning how things work, learning how to break it, and then finding ways to defend it from other breakers. I enjoyed vulnerability testing. But it’s been a while since I did any of that work. I have been too focused on business skills, policies and procedures and strategic thinking. It’s helped get me into the same room as the “C” suite. I get to be involved in large projects. But … it’s not enjoyable.

So … I want to go back to school. I don’t mean college. I mean taking a course on penetration testing and network reconnaissance. I mean getting back to where it all started for me in information security. I want my name to be Khürt “I break shit” Williams.

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