A personal blog by Khürt Williams, with imagery, and inchoate ramblings on coffee, beer, and geekery.
Should! Should? I have an intense dislike of the word. Something inside me gets angry every time it’s used against me.
To me the word has a feeling of judgement. It feels like, “You are a bad person. You won’t do this good thing”. It feels like, “What’s wrong with you”.
“Shoulds” feel like a bit of a guilt trip, and when we feel our guilt buttons being pushed, we get resentful, willful, or discouraged.Dr. Noa Kageyama
But is the guilt real? Am I really a bad person because I won’t do something that someone else — it’s mostly always someone close to you — thinks should be done? How can I take control of the situation, get back to a positive place of being, and get the other voice to STFU?
Replace your shoulds with a word or phrase that is more future-solution-focused. Personally, I like the phrase: “Next time, I will…”Dr. Noa Kageyama
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